Bokura ga ita chapter 47

I know that chapter 46 was scanlated and upped only a few weeks ago but after finishing it I was so desperate for more that I spent the couple of days googling for spoilers. I wasn't hoping for a anything bigger than a simple summary or a review from a reader. After a few researches ( and lots of translating, LOL)the bits of info translated in English started to fall into place and and trust me, the results had me in tears *of joy*. Seriously, this time I got more than I bargained for
But let's proceed with order.

In a previous post ( the one about chapter 46) I already mentioned a link to a recap translation of the first part of chapter 47 . Once again mani thanks to Nervous Venus from the Animesuki forum for translating and sharing !!
We left Yuri in a mission to conquer Yano's heart and to do so she undergoes a style transformation (also thanks to the help of her friend Maiko). Maiko really cares about Yuri. She tries to help her out and obtain Yano's tel number ( at the end she only gets his email address from a co-worker) but also she tries to make Yuri come to reason with her obsession with Yano. I find the dialogue between the two girls really interesting.

Maika: The love you have, Yuri-chan, it seems like you're trying to ensnare him.

Yuri: Isn't that what love is supposed to be like? It's like strategizing. Will he get into this or that? Like that.
Maika: I don't know about the old Yano, but you can't truly get this Yano the way you are now.
... That person is easy going, but it's like he doesn't have feelings. He laughs a lot, but his heart isn't beating. It's like a part of him is gone somewhere. The part that still remains, well it's gentle, but also cold. Even if you get together, I don't think you'll both be happy.
Yuri: Happy?
Maika: Yuri-chan, I think you're the kind of person who wants to be loved.
The text over Yuri reads: How ridiculous. That sort of thing, I've learned not to expect it by now.
Maika: What you really want is someone who truly loves you right?
The text reads: I don't believe in that anymore.
Yuri: ...So in the end, you're just looking down on me, aren't you?

This tell how disillusioned Yuri is about love and that her obsession with Yano really is the result of a selfish feeling rather then true love. But can we really blame her ? How can we expect her to love and act selflessly towards someone when she never experienced that type of love herself?
In the second part there is another dialogue which enlighten us to Yuri's true desperation. Her mum comes to Tokyo and finds out that she works part-times and never enrolled university. She is obviously shocked and angry at her but during their conversation Yuri's mom also discloses more than simple rage towards her daughter. Her words are really harsh and full of contempt and seem to unveil the root cause of Yuri's misery: her sister Nana
Yuri must have always suffered from a inferiority complex, she is nothing like her sister, she doesn't have her looks, she doesn't have her carefree attitude. Even more , now that Nana is dead, the comparison becomes unbearable. Now that I think about it, I have never seen Yuri crying about her sister's death. She also said it herself. And was quite shocked about it. but for this very reason I don't think she's a despicable person. She's simply unable to do it. probably the day she lost her sister, she lost her family as well. Her mum says

Ever since that child died, our family's been ruined. You and your father, both of you are always doing things the way you feel like it. If that child was alive, things wouldn't have turned out this way

This tells me a lot about Yuri's lack of love. When Nana was alive she was suffering because she felt inferior to her ( probably Nana was the favourite daughter) after her death the family was ruined. Probably her parents were too wrapped in their grief to notice that she needed to be loved too?
Yuri does not dream to be loved. She needs it. She is so desperate to be loved she turns to the only person who ever showed her some affection, Yano. She knows that he's not in love with her. But she also knows that she can survive with the little Yano can give her. The conversation at the bar is meaningful

Yuri: That time, you felt sorry for me, didn't you?

Yano looks up at her.

Yuri: Tell me. Even though it was pity, there was still love there.

The text reads : Tell me.

Yuri is weeping.

The text reads: Tell me that there were feelings.

Yuri recalls him sitting beside her in class.

The text reads: Because you were different. From everyone else, from other people. You were the only one who..

Yano: I only used you. I told you, didn't I? You were a replacement for Nana.

And finally we get to Yano who is desperately trying to cope with his own tragedies.

Probably he is doing it the wrong way but at least he is trying. Yes, Yano made the mistake of using Yuri back in junior high, but I think that life made him pay a lot more than he really owned for that very mistake ( think about Nana, His mother, Nanami and yes his best friend Take..he lost him as well). His past is a constellation of tragedies and loss whom he is desperately trying to escape from. He hit the rock bottom so many times he should have gone insane already. The past he is trying to kill off is constantly hunting him. It is no coincidence that during the night out with his friend, after meeting Yuri, he felt so sick . The memories awakened all of a sudden and shook him inside. In spite of his best efforts his life is still anchored to his past and is dragging him down. Being so weak and out of love himself, Can he really give Yuri the love she needs?


Please bear with me cos the most interesting part is yet to arrive