Bokura ga ita chapter 48 ~ confessions

Although very short, this is one of my favourite parts from volume 12. Why? Probably because after pages and pages of misery and suppressed feelings, we finally get our heroes to admit thay haven't forgotten about each other which is kinda reassuring considering what we've been reading up to now..

The chapter starts with a very interesting scene. After the flashbacks included in chapter 46 and 47 we are back to the present time, so the events continue follow the story from chapter 45.

Take, still in his office working overtime, receives a call from Aki-chan. He is pretty excited about his plans for tomorrow ( which is Nanami's birthday) . Apparently Aki has some important news for him . We are not told exactly what she says but from Take's speechless expression we understand it is something quite serious ( I bet it has to do with the meeting with Yano...however I don't know whether she just mentioned that or the fact that she told Nanami as well...*sweats*)
The scene moves to Nanami, alone in her bedroom. She is lying on her bed thinking about the conversation earlier with Aki . in chapter 45, Aki revealed her regret: losing Yano especially the way she did. Aki admitted that she wanted to be more than a friend to him but then again she knew that the only person precious to Yano's heart was Takahashi ( which she envied so much). Even so she regret her inability to help him when he needed the most. Unlike Takhashi ( which was unaware of the situation) She was there when his mother died yet she wasn't able to say or do anything to comfort him.
On that occasion, Nana listened to Aki's confession without replying a single word ( was she just shocked by Aki's honesty or trying not to let her guard down?). Now, She seems to respond to Aki's words with her own confession.

You know, this is how I would put it, Aki-chan.
It would have been better if we hadn't met.
It would have been better if I hadn't come to know him.
His smile, his voice, his gestures , the feel of his arms, all of it.

Tears runs along her cheeks as she pictures memories from the night at the school festival . the memories of Yano at the school festival finally unveil Nana true feelings. Although she decided to get on with her life (and be with Takeuchi) deep inside she is still waiting for Yano ( was Take's terrified expression earlier referring to this unspoken truth ?)
(Now the part I love the most!!) The scene continues on the school festival flashback . However Nana is not there anymore. In fact this time, we are inside a classroom. There is nobody but Yano who is looking for some glue (to fix the stone on Nanami's ring). When he finds it he moves towards the windows and looks at the crowd students celebrating outside. He smiles to himself when he finally sees Nanami and rushes outside to reach her. When he gets closer enough someone shouts
" Motoharu". We see Yano lying on the bed with the eyes wide open. *aaargh*
the person shouting Yano's name is Dai who is sitting in the kitchen with the rest of his family. Yano is lying on the bed still and we can read the following words

The tears won't dry up. Probably, forever. [...] Even if the wound heals.. It still remains

Yes, we are back to the 18 y.o Yano after the troublesome night out with Dai. In fact we see him working as swim instructor teaching his class breathing techniques which explain that

You don't have to force yourself to inhale. If you exhale, then naturally you'll inhale after. It's more important to exhale than inhale.

So that's how it works ( bet you're trying that now..lols yeah I've done it too ). Yano is now sitting alone in Dai's bar . He is at the phone and the person he is talking to is Nanami's mother. She tells him Nanami is now studying in Tokyo and she hasn't returned home still. Nana's mum gives Yano Nanami's new address and then asks about his mother. He (lies )says that she is doing fine but tears fall down silently over the piece of paper on which he was writing Nana's address. He then ends the call with the promise of coming and visiting again like he used to do.

Tears still roll down while he recalls an image of Nanami at the school festival.

So here it is Yano's attempt to breath. Although very painful I can't help but loving this part. Finally we get to shed a small light on Yano's feelings and understand how hard is for him to live without the person he loves the most. Parting from his past and particularly from Nanami is not an easy thing to do. Probably this is the reason why he couldn't bring himself to call her directly. If he did he wouldn't have had the strenght to let her go again. I wish we could read more soon to understand what's really going on in his mind there are so many unspoken feelings and for now I can only go on with my own assumptions.

Here's the link to the chapter summary. Many thanks to nervous Venus who took the time to translate it.